In fact, these two people may be
likened to the Catholic Priest who
listens to the confessions of the
faithful, counsels them and
dispatches them back into the
world, to go and sin no more. It is
to them that we run, when we
suspect that there is trouble. We
believe so much in them and their
competence, that we swallow
everything they offer us hook, line
and sinker, without questions.
Thus, we tend to lower our natural
guard when dealing with them as
the relationship is based on trust.
Their competence to get us out of
our bad situation is never in doubt,
unless they inform us otherwise or
something goes wrong for
unexplainable reasons.
Their strategic importance to us
informs many people’s decision to
keep them as close as possible,
even on retainer for a fee. No doubt
the inefficiency of government to
provide adequate health care
facilities for citizens has also
forced us to embrace medical
practitioners like beautiful brides.
Unfortunately, a few of them may
be found wanting. God forbid that
you come across one who will
betray that trust.
When Wunmi met Lanre, a doctor in
one of the government hospitals
about two years ago, everyone was
convinced it was a perfect match.
The love between them was
obvious for everyone to see. So, it
was a great surprise when Wunmi
suddenly announced that she was
no longer interested in the
relationship. According to her, she
was sure she did not have the
temperament to be a doctor’s wife.
She said she was not comfortable
with the fact that he got to meet and
be with women, young and old, all
day long. This had caused her to
develop a complex of sort.
Whenever they were together, she
could not stop herself from asking
about the women. How many he
examined that day? If they were
beautiful or not? Did he see their
bum or boobs and if he enjoyed
touching them or lusted after them?
She said he was always cool about
his responses and would
sometimes gist her about any
strange thing he noticed about the
women. Rather than amuse her, his
stories only infuriated her the
more. Despite all the assurances
that Lanre gave that he did not
consider the women as real, but
mere specimens or mannequins to
work with, Wunmi said she was
convinced that he was not being
truthful. And so while many of us
thought that wedding bells were
about to start chiming, Wunmi
dropped a bombshell on us. She’d
called off the relationship as she
was sure she could not cope.
From the accounts of many women,
victims and witnesses alike, it is
obvious that some doctors
sometimes fall short of their
calling, succumbing to the lure of
the female flesh. Many incidents of
abuse, molestation and indecent
proposals abound from patients’
accounts of their unwholesome
experiences in the hands of some
medical practitioners. I don’t have
the statistics of the number of male
and female doctors in Nigeria but it
is obvious that there are more men
than women, either in private or
government practice.
Breast implant …Doctor’s advice is
always vital
Thus, most women get to meet
male doctors most of the time.
Some can be randy and a few
outrightly dirty, unprofessional
and unscrupulous. While one
cannot dismiss the possibility of an
attraction or mutual chemistry
between opposite sexes, there are
also cases of doctors taking
advantage of their patient’s
situation to get into their heads,
minds and eventually their pants. It
is only normal that a doctor will
examine a patient based on the
complaint before him. Given the
laxity and level of corruption in the
society, one may not be surprised
to find ENT doctors asking patients
to strip down to their underwear for
examination.
But, honestly speaking, it must
take great discipline and grace for
a full grown, virile man to sit
across a table and view, (not
imagine oh,) women of various
shapes, colours and sizes walk in,
strip to various levels of undress,
run his hands and fingers all over
them and sometimes through them,
then watch them dress up again
and walk out as if nothing had
happened! Though this is what is
called professionalism and a
relationship based on trust, but
isn’t the fact that some of these
doctors are sometimes found
wanting makes them human and
vulnerable too? Wunmi’s fears may
not be totally unfounded, truth be
told. Mrs. Gomez, a teacher and
mother of two children lost her
husband to a female nurse, widow
and mother of five children who
worked in the same office as her
husband, a doctor.
There are salacious stories of
Doctor versus Nurse romance in
most hospital circles, the night
shifts and emergency calls may
not necessarily be serious duty
calls sometimes. But while that
may not be classified as a breach
of trust since similar things also go
on in other work environments,
stories of doctors manipulating the
situation of patient into unholy
alliances sure are.
Susan, one of my young lady
friends recently narrated a
personal experience with their
family doctor to me. She never
knew that the old man, same age
with her father, had eyes for her
until she approached him for a
favour. She was in her second year
in the University and had fallen
victim to peer pressure and
unmanaged independence, when
she found herself pregnant.
Stranded because she did not have
a boyfriend she could turn to for
support and she was not sure she
wanted to subject herself to the
offers of her friends, she decided to
turn to the only competent and
reliable doctor she’d known almost
all her life.
On establishing that her story was
correct, he assured her of his
willingness to assist without
informing her parents but only on
the condition that he also ‘tops’ the
pregnancy. She said he hit the nail
straight on the head and told her
that since she was already
pregnant, there was no fear of
another pregnancy taking place.
Once through, he would evacuate
everything for her at no cost.
Further boxing her into a corner, he
told her she was free to walk away
if she did not want him, but he
could not guarantee his silence on
the matter to her parents.
She left and met him two days later
at a designated hotel in town where
he confessed he’d had his roving
eyes and dirty mind on her for a
very long time. He bailed her out
and they continued to meet secretly
until a couple of months ago as she
is now getting set for matrimony.
Neither of their families and church
members have a clue of what went
down between them.
It is advised that you keep your
secret to yourself as you can never
be sure of the intentions of the
person you divulge it to, but how
much of your medical problem can
you keep from your family doctor?
If Susan was young and gullible,
the same cannot be said of Funke,
49, mother of four teenage children
who also got a proposition from
their family doctor recently. “It
must have stemmed from the fact
that he is aware that my husband
and I have not had a sex life for a
long time now due to his illness.
He probably thought I was sex
starved and would fall into his
arms like a pack of cards.
My husband has serious Prostate
problems but its well under control
now. Doctor Seye has been our
family doctor for over 10 years
now. We are well acquainted with
each other’s families though not
intimately. So, I was surprised by
his actions. He is fond of making
small, dirty jokes but I had never
given it serious thought. So, one
day I walked in to complain about
some sharp pains in my stomach.
He asked me to lie down and as we
were talking he asked me if I was
examining my breasts regularly. I
told him yes but he being an expert
could also check for me since I
was already on his table anyways.
So, I took off my bra and he
commenced his examination. But,
soon I realised that it was no
longer an examination as he kept
fondling my breasts and kneading
my nipples.
Though he was still talking as if he
was doing a serious professional
job, I noticed that his breathing had
changed. I got angry and turned my
face away, determined to teach him
a lesson by ignoring him. Whatever
his intention was, it was
impossible that he would rape me
in his office. We remained like that
for a few minutes then suddenly I
felt his hand on my skirt and
grabbed it. I did not need to say a
word but he got my message. He
stepped back, apologised and
asked me to dress up, walking back
to his table. I could see the huge
bulge in his trousers. He wrote out
his report, then walked round the
table again to stand over me. I
quickly stood up and grabbed my
bag. Then he laughed and said,
“madam, e stubborn sha!”. I took
my file and walked out. I called
him later that night and gave him a
piece of my mind and he
apologised. We are still using his
services as I never told my
husband bout it. Now, whenever I
am there, there is always a Nurse
in attendance.
Do have a wonderful weekend!